Tuesday, May 17, 2005

new look: hope you like it!

So, all this fiddling about and tweaking of my
  • my myspace profile
  • has taught me the tiniest tiniest bit of html, but you know i am stretching it as much as possible...so decided to give the mirror stage a bit of a face lift...or at least snazz it up somewhat although it is still my classiest internet incarnation. The painting now serving as background to the title is by Anselm Kiefer...my favourite painter. just lots of books. i thought it was rather appropriate. anyway...must get back to the final papers.


    Saturday, May 14, 2005

    White Light: Complete poem in 3 parts, first draft.

    As I said before the graphical play is going to be destroyed on here...but anyway, here it is...tell me what you think, peeps.



    White Light

    1. that slick of your back
    put comma to curve make
    straight the way way way
    out there, it became an
    exclamation for me
    a cry from below

    put pen to paper
    make a line curve to line
    a swift motion that you
    can fill with phantoms

    that time you gave me your hand
    clench firm soft fingers tight
    make sparks make light light light the night
    and spread apart the sheets
    of days where we can hide
    like hibernation or honeymoon.

    put pen to paper

    and paint the inside


    2. am. You’re winding yourself around me like a soft soft string/our arms/ great sweet knots of heat/ they pack our selves, a gift enclosed/

    I think

    I’d like to cut you open with passion and a slit, lick that knows only love.
    Hold picnics at the binding borders of your skin, make tiny bonfires of regrets
    Bring all that sugared sap up of you up to drink like fountains you will flow
    Put my hand inside your Glory: O it is B e a u t i f u l, your vicious soul. It will

    Pink movements of your lips, Great White hard hips you have, and a voice
    That speaks fit to burst blue blue upon an endless story, those details
    You thought long forgotten. Yes the trees that grow in your heart, the
    Grasses and the vines that line the way, the birds and fires and lightning
    On that path through you the lemon trees too, and sunny gardens, the Love and tomatoes. All of these I will tiptoe through, covered stealthy in your
    Spirit skins leaving kisses, bites for signposts. Because sometimes it is the
    Package that undoes the ribbon and
    Red Red Ridinghood that wears the wolf.

    You like an imperative:
    The force of it, as it sprays across my face
    Like all that fire hose pornography.
    5 alarm at 5 am.

    That’s when…

    You, like an imperative,
    Appear closersmoother, bend me
    To an X, with sex to center
    Make me on the cross of
    St. Andrew.

    You hold my body: flaming tinder,
    Tell me that’s not all I am
    But your eyes were a pilot light
    that night,
    So it’s a 5 alarm at 5am.

    Monday, May 02, 2005

    militant orgasm: female cumshot/human cumshot

    I am successfully avoiding doing much work...smoking. thinking.looking at the net, reading articles. suchlike.

    I have some interesting food for thought too...through the power of modern technology and the dirty mind of my new lover, i have been party to witnessing myself have an orgasm for the first time. Now this is weird...for those of you who have NOT seen yourself have an orgasm...it's a mixed experience. (God...do I really look like that??? UGH) Don't worry peeps, i am not going to go into too many dirty details, although frankly i am sure that some of you wouldn't mind swopping stories...

    just this: did anybody else know that people blush behind their ears and then that it spreads and then there's a blush across the belly when you come??? I didn't!!! I mean apart from the penchant for poppers in the 90s where everybody would be walking around red faced, vaguely horny and teenage, i hadn't realised there was an empirical pattern to the whole thing. and apparently this is universal. I think this is WELL beautiful. or indeed....VERY wow.

    and it brings to mind...

    one of the main points of Catherine Mackinnon's writings (and others) on Pornography concerns the displacement of female pleasure...the ubiquitous cumshot that stands for all sexual enjoyment, where the phallus is inscribed on the bodily penis as the primary symbol, and the primary symbol of pleasure, taking the place of the "invisible" female orgasm (whose existence is STILL apparently up for debate...double ugh). Now, recently in my adventures in sex (yay) I have been party to a lot of very interesting experiences...a lot of times lately where i feel like Fausto Sterling et al must be absolutely right...like Rubin says "men and women might be different to eachother, but they are more like eachother than anything else for example kangaroos and coconut palms" ( this is a sorta quote...i didn't consult, but I always loved that line, and it is very nearly correct if not absolutely). What I mean is that i have been looking at my lover and i have been recognizing the feelings and the expressions more..."male" pleasure always seemed to me to be somewhat delineated in opposition to the popular representations of and expressions of female pleasure (which, naturally we must remember are often bunk), but i think there may be, even within the currently fairly omnipresent binary economy (ugh) some potential to see the human, something utterly simple and simultaneously mainfestly complex. The bottom line is that there is potentially a unisex cumshot, something sexy, i.e. halfway between ugliness and grace, and utterly utterly human. I want to glorify this thing...it seems like a basis to a new visual erotic...an economy based on expression and body that glows.

    I guess it's a bit subtle. Not for everybody. But it makes us into neon strips/fireflies!

    But in any case, i am excited about it. Also, the whole shabang has given me ideas for art projects...to paint somebody up as if they were going through an orgasm, and take very clean photos of them doing ordinary things...shopping,in the library, housework, etc. (I dunno about the camera question...i suppose i should buy one soon. I miss my SLR. What i really want is the digital SLR out now...yummy) All you'd have to do is part the lips slightly and close the eyes...more like St. Theresa's ecstasy than bimbo with tongue slightly protruding as she rides latest billboard. Any volunteers for the project??? I want lots and lots of different types of people!! Orgasms for everybody!!! I am thinking this could be something for an exhibition with Vox Ominous (?)

    anyhoo. just a thought. or two or so. I am going to run along now and do work, awaiting breathy phonecalls and excited emails.